Added: Kambria Abraham - Date: 18.12.2021 18:35 - Views: 40774 - Clicks: 6157
Until I was 24, the furthest I had moved away from home was a 3-hour car ride to Munich to go to college. And even then, I came home pretty much every weekend to spend time with my friends and family whom I had always been close with. But after my graduation, I had a mental breakdown during a job interview and lost the last bit of confidence I had.
I pretty started questioning every decision I had made so far. I needed a break from it all to figure out what I actually wanted in life. So, I decided to apply for an Au Pair position in America. After many months of searching for the right family, I found my perfect match in Denver, Colorado. To say I was nervous would be an understatement, but I was very lucky to have found a couple that made me feel like I was part of their family—they even took me on their yearly skiing vacations and paid for daycare for their toddler so I could go snowboarding myself.
I soon got bored of riding by myself and decided to go on Tinder to look for a riding buddy. Attractiveness was definitely not a priority.
Brett and I matched right away and we soon started chatting. I told him I was looking for a riding buddy and asked him if he wanted to drive up to the mountains the next day to ski together. On Sunday he texted me and told me he would be pretty late, so I started riding by myself.
He arrived around noon while I was taking a lunch break on the terrace. I saw him right away thanks to his bright yellow jacket, but he walked right past me and went inside and down the stairs. I ran after him, chasing him down the stairs. After riding all afternoon together, I drove him to his car and we exchanged s.
We soon found out we only lived 10 minutes away from each other. We decided to go riding together the next weekend instead. After parking at the ski resort, Brett walked around the car to give me a proper hug and I remember thinking this hug is way too long to be platonic. After a great day of riding, we walked back to the car. For the first time in a long time, I had butterflies while kissing someone. From that day on, we pretty much spent every weekend together.
We went off roading and hiking with his dog. It reminded me how much I loved doing that when I was a. I laughed more often and harder than in every relationship before.
From the very beginning, he pushed me out of my comfort zone, helping me grow as a person and being more comfortable in my own skin. He always gave me compliments. We even traveled to Alaska together. I felt loved, and for the first time, understood. Naturally, I decided to extend my time as an Au Pair for another 9 months so we could spend more time together. We had an amazing 1. Yes, we fought, but always managed to get back together, learning more about each other with every fight.
A couple of weeks before my flight we started talking about what it would mean for our relationship once I was back in Germany. At this point, I should probably mention we both never believed in marriage. But, somehow, here I was, talking about getting married to a guy from the other side of the world I only knew for 1. I was so sure about this that it even convinced him to try. The plan was for me to fly home and then come back as soon as I could. Fast forward to my last weekend.
In the morning we woke up to his dog being sick and ruining the whole apartment. This whole situation of me leaving soon was already really hard on him, and with the dog ruining the whole floor, he just snapped. He started yelling at him, dragged him out of the apartment, and started throwing stuff around.
I went outside and searched for the dog to give Brett some time to cool off. Thankfully, I found him and brought him back inside. A couple of days later, my flight left, and even though seeing him this angry scared me a little, leaving him behind was the hardest thing I had done so far. Even harder than saying goodbye to my family a year and 9 months earlier. After I got back to Germany in June ofI moved back in with my parents until I knew what I wanted to do with my life. The first couple of weeks of being back home were just as terrible.
I hated every single minute of not being with Brett. I felt stuck and nothing excited me anymore. I spend a lot of time outside just wandering through the forest, trying to find answers to all those life questions. Should I really move back and get married? Do I even know Brett well enough to spend the rest of my life with him?
He would be the only person I had over there. I first moved across the globe to find myself, maybe even figure out what I wanted to do with my life, and here I was having even more questions and even bigger decisions to make. Miraculously, I got a job offer from the first interview I went to. I promised him that I would move back to Denver as soon as the trainee position was over. The next couple of months were still hard, but like all humans, I started to get used to my new life. And slowly but surely, I started to love being back home with my family and friends.
Yes, I missed Brett deeply, but just knowing he was there was enough for me. It got to the point where I started thinking about staying in Germany and him moving over instead of the other way around like we agreed on months before. The worst part about changing my mind was I never truly admitted it. I always said yes, but also had a long list of why I was so worried about moving. He tried his best to convince me that everything would be fine and he would never just kick me out if we ever got into a fight. And even though I believed him on some level, I was never truly convinced.
On top of all that, we started fighting about the smallest things. How much it sucked to only talk and not be able to just hug each other or physically spend time together. December came around and Brett visited me for a week. I had the time off as well, and since it was his first time in Germany, we spent every day exploring. It was exactly what we needed so desperately.
To physically be together reminded us of what great of a time we always have together. But a few weeks later in January ofBrett told me he needed some time to think about our whole relationship. He asked for a one-week break with no contact. This came totally out of the blue for me. We just had a great time a few weeks ago and now he wanted a break?
So I kept texting him and asking for an answer. Which was obviously the wrong thing to do considering he wanted to have no contact.
He ignored all of my texts until a few days later on our two-year anniversary, and he told me he was breaking up with me. My whole world just fell apart. I cried for a week straight. I pretty much walked around like a zombie.
It took 26 years for me to have my first real heartbreak, and to punish myself even further, I kept texting him about how thankful I was for the time we had together and that I wished him all the best for his future. We kept texting back and forth all through February, and every so often I kept asking him to get back together.
One day he just had enough and sent me the worst text message I had ever gotten. Telling me I was the worst girlfriend he ever had.
That I never fully accepted him and his friends. He pretty much brought up every fight we ever had. I must have read that text like a hundred times, and every time a piece of who I thought I was disappeared. He made me question everything that had happened in the past 2 years.
Was I really that terrible of a person? Or is he just saying that so I would stop harassing him? Not about how to win him back, but about what had happened in the past few months, and what I had done to receive such a message. My phone was turned off for a week straight. Actions speak louder than words.
When I turned my phone back on, I saw he had messaged me days ago, apologizing for his last message, and he also told me he never wanted to break up in the first place, but he just needed some space and time to think. We had a long conversation on the phone, but he agreed it would be best to talk about everything in person.Skiing buddy wanted
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